Let’s face it. Teaching toddlers to be thankful is a bit like teaching tiny turkeys. After all, before the age of 4 or 5, children are pretty ego-centric. Two year olds are known for playing side-by-side and have little ability to see things through someone else’s eyes. That’s why they snatch toys and have difficulty sharing. But between ages of 3 and 4 we see major progress in their social skills. As perspective-taking develops, so does their capacity for gratitude.
Why Gratitude?
Here at Heartl
and, we know that preschool is about more than the ABC’s and 123’s. In fact, the most important part of a preschooler’s development is social! Teaching our children thankfulness has many benefits, beyond being little people with nice manners. Studies have shown that preschoolers that experience gratitude are more likely to help others, even strangers. They are also more likely to share! Children who express their gratitude also tend to be more emotionally regulated and have better self-esteem. Lastly, learning to practice and experience gratitude contributes to long-term character development, and produces children who become more thoughtful and kind adults.
What does Gratitude look like for preschoolers?
Teaching our tiny turkeys thankfulness is about more than saying, “thank you,” but that is where it all begins. Gratitude in early childhood can feel a little bit like “fake it til you make it.” We begin teaching our literal and concrete thinkers how to behave. This looks like modeling thankfulness with our own words and actions and teaching them to do the same. Many of us have probably prompted our children to express their thanks to someone with the phrase, “What do you say?” But as our children’s minds continue to develop at a rapid pace during the preschool years, so will their capacity for true gratitude. Their ability to feel and express gratitude is directly linked to their growing awareness of other’s thoughts and feelings. This understanding takes time. It is important to remember that gratitude is not innate- it develops. So keep prompting, modeling and encouraging, and you will have tiny thankful turkeys before you know it!
How do I teach my turkey to be thankful?
We’ve already addressed the foundation for teaching thankfulness to toddlers and preschoolers- prompting, modeling and encouraging. But there are a few other ways we can help our children develop hearts of gratitude that are both simple and creative.
Storytime with a Purpose
Stories are a great way to help children think and learn about gratitude. So snuggle up together with a good book or movie, and then spark the conversation! “How did the character feel when someone helped him?” “What can he do to express his thankfulness?” This connects the narrative to both gratitude and empathy.
Gratitude Rituals
Young children love a good routine! Lean into their preference for ritual to create regular gratitude practices together. Consider making a Thankfulness corkboard where they can write or draw things they are thankful for and post it on the board. You may also choose to create a thankfulness jar, which works in a similar way. The purpose is in the pause. Take time each day to reflect on what you are thankful for, and revisit the jar or board when hearts of gratitude shift towards entitlement.
Celebrate Thankfulness
Children thrive in our praise. When your tiny turkey practices gratitude, be sure to celebrate! Say something like, “I saw how you shared with your friend when she needed a toy. That was so kind!” Pointing out your child’s kindness reinforces the value of gratitude because it shows they are thinking of others. You can also encourage your child to express gratitude through small acts of kindness like making a card for a friend or giving a hug.
What other ways can you think of to help teach thankfulness?
Gratitude Grows
Remember, gratitude grows, and growing takes time. If your child forgets to say thank you or shows more discontentment or entitlement, don’t scold. Instead, use these moments as opportunities to teach them how to shift their focus towards gratitude. Even we adults need help with this sometimes. But, the more we practice, the better we get at focusing on what we have instead of what we lack. Your children will need lots of practice to grow in gratitude, and missteps will abound! Practice patience, and revel in the tiny victories!
Here at Heartland, we love partnering with parents to help nurture the seeds of gratitude being planted in your children. We seek to provide a loving, positive and nurturing environment where your children will grow to be happy, healthy, grateful learners for years to come. As you prepare for the season of Peace and Joy, we hope you will find many small moments to teach and experience thankfulness as well. Happy Thanksgiving!