Bedtime fears are a universal rite of passage for young children—and yes, even monsters under the bed have their moment! Helping children navigate these nighttime worries isn’t just sweet—it’s profoundly developmental.
Imaginary fears, like monsters hiding in the shadows, are tied to typical developmental stages. Preschoolers’ vivid imaginations often fuel these fears, and with gentle guidance, they naturally fade as your child grows. This is a normal milestone—and a great opportunity to nurture emotional resilience.
Establishing Emotional Resilience
At Heartland Academy, we understand how little minds work! We love to help children conquer their fears, which stretch far beyond monsters under the bed. Below are some important things to know to help your little one move through nighttime fears, and some daytime fears, too!
1. Validate First—Don’t Dismiss
One of the most important ways to help children overcome their fears, is to validate their fears. Instead of dismissing their fears by saying, “Don’t be silly,” say something like, “I know you feel scared right now, and that’s okay.” Empathy tells children their feelings matter, and that is a cornerstone to early childhood development.
2. Creative Expression: Play, Art & Storytelling
After validating your child’s fear, give them some tools to express or externalize the fears. As you help your little one feel safe, you will see those screams of fright turn into laughs of delight! Here are three ways to lighten up those dark and scary spaces in your child’s mind.
- Use Dramatic Play: Let them act out scenarios using toys. There are a million scenarios in which your child might feel afraid. They might be truly scared of the animatronic dinosaurs they saw at the zoo. They might be afraid of going to preschool for the first time. Maybe they are still talking about the loud noise of the firework show. Help them imagine taking charge of the scary object, sound or scenario. They can practice “telling the dinosaur off,” or pushing a button to mute all the fireworks. They can also role play with you what it might be like when they walk in the door at preschool.
- Use Artwork: Have your child they see under the bed—then transform them by adding silly features or making them laughable.
Use Storytelling: At Heartland Academy, we love to use stories to help kids understand the world around them. You can invite your kids to create tales where the monster becomes a clown or a goofy sidekick. This practice turns down the scary meter by using humor! Remember, because the monster is a creation of your child’s imagination, they have the power to re-create it into something less scary.
3. Monster Spray & Worry Pets
Monster Spray and Worry Pets can be helpful tools for your imaginative little sleepyhead. These simple tools help your child feel empowered to conquer their fears.
How to Use Monster Spray:
- Decorate a spray bottle filled with water (add a drop of lavender for calming vibes).
- Have your child spray the room before bedtime in any places he or she thinks the monsters might be lurking: in closets or corners, under the bed.
- Remind them the monsters can’t stand the smell so the spray is sure to make their bedroom a Monster-free zone.
How to Use a Worry pet:
- Select a stuffed animal to be your child’s worry pet and explain that it is specially designed to hold your child’s worries.
- Encourage your child to tell their worries to the stuffed animal before going to sleep at night. If the pet has a zipper pocket, the child can “store” the worries inside and zip it up.
- Remind your child the worry pet will stay with them through the night, helping them feel safe.
Keeping Fears at Bay
Childhood fears can pop up out of nowhere and often feel irrational to us grown-ups. However, we can help our children avoid some experiences that may cause unnecessary anxiety. It’s important to know your child and be sensitive to their personal fear inducers. Some children are more sensitive than others, and even children’s programming can feel intense and be anxiety-inducing. It is helpful to limit fear-provoking media, especially before bedtime.
Most childhood fears fade, but if they persist more than six months or disrupt daily life, it may be more than a typical phase of development.. Early interventions with a play therapist can help children develop the resilience they need.
Final Take-aways
It’s true, childhood fears are normal and plentiful, but that doesn’t make them easy to conquer! Keep in mind that your child’s fears are very real to them. Even if YOU know they are safe, your job is to help your child FEEL safe. To tackle those monsters in their minds, let them know their feelings are valid. Equip your preschooler with Monster Spray and a Worry Pet before bed, and help them think differently about their fears by using role plays, art and stories. Before you know it, your children will be slaying all sorts of monsters with courage and confidence!