Last month, we focused on teaching our children the importance of gratitude. Often, we assume the values we want our children to have are inherent- either they possess them, or they don’t! But we have learned that simply isn’t true. Values are taught and caught, but children are not born with them. This is good news, because it means
our little ones can continue to learn and grow in these important areas of character development. I can’t help but notice how the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas lend themselves naturally to teaching our children gratitude and generosity. In fact, having an attitude of gratitude is the very thing that fosters generosity during the “season of giving!” When our children learn to be grateful for all that they have, they squash a spirit of entitlement and feel prompted to share, knowing their resources aren’t scarce. As the Christmas season comes to a close, let’s continue to foster a spirit of generosity in our preschoolers that will last all year! In this article, we will explore what generosity looks like in preschoolers, how to help it grow, and why it’s an important foundation for your child’s early development!
What does generosity look like in preschoolers?
So what does generosity actually look like in your preschooler? Well, it doesn’t usually show up in grand gestures like you imagine, but you will find it showing up in small and simple acts of kindness that make a lasting impact. For example, 
- Sharing her toys or craft supplies
- Taking turns without being prompted
- Helping a friend or sibling clean up
- Offering comfort to someone
- Participating in group problem-solving
When you see your child doing any of these things, they are engaging in generosity, which is closely related to empathy development! Between the ages of 3-5, your preschoolers ability to feel and express empathy is really amping up, so be on the look out for these beautiful expressions of kindness and consider the following ways to grow generosity in your child.
How does it grow?
As I mentioned before, generosity isn’t instinctual in children, it’s learned! That means there are things you can do to help your child learn and grow in this area. Here are three simple steps you can use to teach your child how to be generous in word and deed!
1. Model Generosity
You may be familiar with the old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” but all of us know that doesn’t work. Children learn best by watching trusted adults model the type of character we want them to have. At Heartland, we always try to model kindness and generosity with our words and actions, and we know you do too! Consider small ways you might encourage your child to share, like bringing extra snacks to the zoo, or toys to a playdate, that they can share with friends. This helps your child “plan” for generosity. Children tend to be more generous when they have a choice in what they share and when they share it.
2. Name the feeling
When it comes to teaching young children, literacy is about much more than reading. We also teach our children emotional literacy to help them understand how their actions affect others. When you see your child behave generously toward another child or adult, praise them with rich emotional language like, “You shared your blocks! That helped your friend feel happy!” Or, “I see you noticed she needed help. That was kind of you to step in.” Naming emotions helps build empathy in your little one, which is a building block towards generosity. Additonally, it is helpful to focus your praise on the generous behavior and not on the child. For example, instead of saying, “You are so nice,” say, “I saw how you noticed that little girl was alone and you sat with her. That was very kind.” This helps the child understand what she did and why it mattered.
3. Practice, practice, practice
If generosity is learned, that means it must be practiced over time! At Heartland, there are plenty of opportunities for your child to practice generosity as they have shared experience with their classmates. They will participate in class games, group projects and shared mealtimes, where sharing and caring will become second nature! You can help create other opportunities for growing generosity outside of the classroom as well. Think of ways you might encourage your preschooler to consider others when they are playing with siblings or having a playdate with friends. Is there a lonely or elderly neighbor they may bring joy to, or a grandparent that might need a little help? It’s likely your little one is eager to be a big helper, and you can help create those positive opportunities. The more opportunities your child has to be generous, the more likely he or she will want to continue in generosity.
Stories as “Gardening Tools”
As you seek to grow generosity in the hearts of your preschoolers, consider reading stories about kindness and compassion. Stories are powerful tools to teach generosity and help children explore emotions and consequences in safe and relatable ways. There are many wonderful books to choose from, but “Kindness is my Superpower,” along with the “My Superpower Values” box set by Alicia Ortega, are great ones to start with.
Growing Generosity Take Time
Remember, just like anything else that grows, growing generosity in preschoolers takes time, and that’s okay! Preschoolers are still learning impulse control and emotional regulation, so sharing won’t be perfect, and it doesn’t need to be. At Heartland, we love partnering with parents as they plant seeds of kindness, water them with encouragement and modeled behavior, and wait for generosity to take root. Because growing generosity isn’t just about taking turns, it’s about shaping kind and compassionate humans for the future! If you’d like to learn more about how your child can grow at Heartland, we’d love to help you book a tour today!